You’ll always lose more than you’ll win. I hate to have to say this to you, us rather. But, we need this reminder to live and win. So, I urge you, Victor, to say this, “You’ll always lose more than you’ll win” to yourself again and again and again. Just one more time Victor. Good!!!
Having known you all my life, I can tell that nothing scares you as much as losing does. Or any type of failure at all. I remember when you always tell yourself that failure is not in your dictionary. I remember how you always remind yourself that “Victor” is your name as if you had amnesia and forgot. I totally understand how scary it is to fail or lose or not win (trying out some understatement, to make it feel less scary). But, you can’t live without failing and losing. And you have had some share of it yourself.
I perfectly understand that growing a “golden child” comes with such fears. But, how long would you remain in the fear? You would agree with me Victor dearest that you have not pursued some dreams because of this fear. You definitely haven’t forgotten that you have lots of ideas you never pondered because you somehow think you won’t be able to pull through them. How about those unwritten stories and essays? Those abandon interests that you are not sure you’d ever pick up? Your defence mechanism is lit. How you churn out excuses upon excuses to soothe and nurse your fear of failure and losing. You often over-prepare yourself to lateness that your timing becomes wrong, just because you fear loses. And eventually, lose or escape it barely enough to savour the victory.
But, that is no way to live. You have to embrace those fears. You have to shed the golden childhood past away. You can’t be stuck with that forever. Those days are gone and all you have is today to live and a tomorrow full of uncertainty to live too. You can’t live happy in fear. The fear of failing will leave you not trying and not living eventually. I know you too well to know that, you wish to live more than anything else.
Just always remember that you have nothing to prove, not to anybody and definitely not to yourself. It’s not your job to avoid repeating the life of your father. Boy, Vincent, had his own share of failures and successes. It’s not your responsibility to be as “good” as your older siblings. You have lived in the light of that heavy burden for far too long. Now, is time to breathe.
Feel free to always lose more than you win. That is the only to live and win.
Victor Ugoo Njoku