“Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start”
These lines from Coldplay’s “The Scientist” is the feeling I’m left with when I think about the terrible thing I make of adulting. Though the song is about love, the lines suit me like that.
As a child, I remember hearing adults reply to “how are you?” with, “we are managing” or “we thank God” with a face that really suggests that things aren’t alright. And most times, they go on to trade stories of woe. In my childhood head, these adults like dragging hardship. I just wanted to grow up and show them how to be an adult, especially one that doesn’t complain.
Oya, look at me, just a few years into adulting and ayam tired. I have complained about everything on earth. I have nagged till there is no strength to nag on. Ike agwụla m biko. Mine is so bad that I once told my immediate brother that I missed when my mum, him and my other older siblings made all the decisions and I act on them. Oga didn’t even pet me small. He went hard. He was quick to remind me that as a child I was eager to grow up and make the decisions. And that I even rebelled a good number of times. Proper, see finish, chai! Someone can’t play with that one at all.
Wo! Before I go on and on about the scam that adulting is, lemme just hit you with things I wasn’t prepared for before embarking on this adulting waka.
1. Being Broke
I wasn’t born with a silver spoon. So, to an extent, I can say that I have been broke all my life. But, it wasn’t my headache, it was Vincent’s and Irene’s (my parents’). They had to foot the bills. Mine was to make requests. I kinda understood the situation of things at home and didn’t place unnecessary demands on my parents. But, demands or not, my school fees gotta be paid and food must be provided, then clothes. And those are bills enough. Now, that I started adulting, you need to see me worrying my small head about what to eat; which clothes to buy; money for rents; and all that. Save meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I legit can see Joel’s face reading this. I don’t know how it happened, but finding love wasn’t one of the things I looked up for while growing up. I kuku heard a lot about heartbreaks and how it hurts that I didn’t even want to try out a relationship. As a teenager, you can navigate through it. You can always claim things didn’t work out with crush Q. Once adulting hits you laidis, nwanne forget it. The pressure triples. Everyone suddenly is in love. Curses to social media where all the love gets fronted. And friends, relatives, well-wishers will start raising questions one way or the other. Oya, you go out to find the love, it seems love aff finish. Ọ gịnị di?
3. Losing Touch with Friends
I really am wondering how many people still keep in touch with friends from secondary school and the university. The way we dey take lose the touch mehn. The thing dị tiring. How can you be so close to these people back in secondary school or university and all of a sudden, we don’t talk anymore like we used to do. We aren’t usually prepared for this. You needed to see the castles I built in the air with some of my secondary school close friends. The university friends own na die. Ngwanu, who will bring the castles down? Truth be told, I haven’t seen most of these friends in years. We only talk over the phone once once. Everyone is seriously trying to do this adulting something.
4. Job Scam
This is one of those things that we whisper. And I’m tired of the hypocrisy. Of all my friends (and I have lots of them) in paid employment, only 2 enjoy their work and the work environment. The rest have terrible experiences that they rather not talk about. I will pretend I haven’t had a terrible work experience, even when I have. Or what I have seen trying to find a job. Chịm o, first, all the things we were thought in school about occupation na wash. The job titles are different. You check a job you think you can be fit for and you are certain you can do. Only to see a minimum of 5 years experience and that a masters is an advantage in the job qualification. And this is you, so fresh out of the university. You kuku see the one that is tagged entry level, you go for an interview and qualify. But, you will spend the peanut of a salary on tfare, you no go even get change take buy pure water. Pheeeeewwww. I just kent deal with this adulting thing. I’m tired. You people shuu just comman take it. I no do again!
5. Quarter Life Crisis
No one ever hinted or prepared me for this. No be mid-life crisis we dey hear before? I wrote a blog about this earlier and I was happy when I found out that lots of my friends trying this adulting found it useful. Who would have thought? I tell you, some days I get so confused about what I want from this life, that I just want to cry. I just want to go back to the start. Quarter life crisis na bastard.
Hei God! I have tried with this adulting for just a few years and I am having headache laidis. People that have been doing it for years how market na? How have Y’all been coping? Those in the first few years of adulting, what has the experience been? I’m sure you have things to say. Oya, use the comment section. Chukwu gọzie gị.